Broad City: “Citizen Ship”


In an episode that makes me miss summer more than life itself, the Broads are going to a swanky yacht party with Jaime (who is 100 per cent my favourite secondary character) and Lincoln (my other favourite secondary character) to celebrate Jaime officially becoming an American citizen. Barring a slight hiccup when Abbi’s Maris-like roommate, Melodie, forgets to put their names on the list, they have a blast swanking it up with yuppie Patrick Bateman-types until Bevers (least favourite secondary character) shows up and tries to get them free booze from the storage cellar and, of course, accidentally gets them locked in.

Although I liked last season’s bottle episode “Hurricane Wanda,” the last time Abbi and Ilana were trapped in an enclosed space with Bevers, being forced to actually interact with him for 21 minutes, is their and my nightmare. But thankfully this isn’t a bottle episode, and there’s enough intercuts of Jaime attempting to emulate what he thinks Americans say and do while Lincoln helpfully steers him in the right direction: barring the occasional Latin-American kiss.

Bevers finally drops the bomb and says he’s planning to propose to Melodie (with a ring on a piece of cocktail shrimp, nonetheless). Ilana is immediately against the idea, saying monogamy is for old people, “like Facebook invites,” and urges him to wait until he’s way older to settle down. Abbi also knows it’s a terrible idea, seeing as even we’ve never seen Bevvers and Melodie in the room together, but encourages him to go for it as she dreams of a Bevers-free apartment. Bevers mistakes this for sincere enthusiasm, and when he panics and bails on the engagement, instead shouting to the room that Abbi is transitioning into a man, he seeks her help in getting an enraged Melodie to stop sulking in the washroom. Abbi’s reluctantly sweet speech to Melodie about how Bevers is truly gross, but truly loves her, is ruined by …. well, just watch.

When it’s suggested that she and Lincoln may actually be a couple, Ilana starts to lose it, shrieking about being a sexual Wolverine and slapping Abbi for suggesting that Lincoln could be her best friend instead of her. Ilana begins banging on the door in hysterics until they finally get the attention of a crew member, who immediately gets locked in the balls-scented room without his insulin after setting them free.

It’s interesting to see Ilana get so unwound over the smallest hint of normalcy in her life while Abbi seems to crave it (so much so that her secret fantasies involve shopping at beautiful flea markets for furniture made out of reclaimed crates with Mark Ruffalo). Ilana and Lincoln have so much chemistry it’d be silly to reject him, but what Ilana does instead is attempt to have sex with Lincoln on the boat to prove that they’re sex friends instead of boyfriend and girlfriend. Every single place they try to have sex in is filled with people who are already banging (including the finance bro who was so weirded out by Jaime’s innocent peck earlier ironically getting a BJ from another finance bro).

There’s so much going on in this episode that as it ended, I wished we’d gotten to focus more on Lincoln and Jaime. Jaime’s frantic sweetness and desire to please everyone is perfectly tempered by Lincoln’s chill, laid-back helpfulness. Hannibal Buress and Arturo Castro have such amazing comic rhythm that watching them shoot the breeze is as entertaining and rewarding as a beautiful friendship unfolding. Is it even a surprise they reenact that clichéd Titantic “I’m flying!” boat scene with total sincerity, then pledge to be blood brothers? Broad City is so totally defined by its friendships that it was great to see another excellent pairing developing. Even if, regrettably, it wasn’t the central pull of the episode.


  • Ilana is wearing her white power suit jacket complete with stain. And Abbi is getting a lot of usage out of that $400 dress.
  • “I’m a well-to-do dentist. Of course I’ve been on a boat before!”
  • “Did you guys know human-robot marriage is gonna be the civil rights issue of our lifetime?”
  • “Shakira is Spicy Spice!” LINCOLN IS A GENIUS.
  • “I love hamburgers and I love DUIs” Jaime’s bro accent is spot-on.
  • Edging? Does Bevers watch Orange is the New Black?
  • Those American flag contact lenses are horrifying.

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