Jack the Giant Slayer

Jack the Giant Slayer
BY KILEY BELL

It was with a bland taste in my mouth that I left the movie theatre after seeing Jack the Giant Slayer this week. While I did chuckle a few times at some half-witty lines, I mainly found myself wondering how a movie that is under two hours could feel SO LONG. Jack the Giant Slayer (formally titled Jack the Giant Killer but changed for the purpose of securing a PG rating and attracting parents to the film) was okay. It was alright. It was acceptably average, the same way that having lumpy oatmeal for breakfast is acceptably average. In other words, it was nothing special.

As a fan of director Bryan Singer (or at least a fan of The Usual Suspects and X-Men) a large part of me expected to really enjoy Jack the Giant Slayer. After being disappointed in a way that most 3D movies tend to disappoint me (especially with unnecessary objects flying towards the screen in a hopeless ploy to make it seem like the extra cost of the movie ticket was worth it), I wanted to understand why this movie was so… average. Warner Brothers spent over $200 million trying to build a film that would rake in eager movie goers’ money and land a top place at the box office. Unfortunately, this was definitely not the case–Jack the Giant Slayer only brought in a meagre $28 million, with hopes to barely break even over the next few weeks.

For the life of me, I can’t understand why the estimates of success were so far from accurate (and I suppose that’s why I’m not a film exec). My strongest theory is that the rating and the topic of the movie were too weak. Why bother making a kids movie that even kids and their parents don’t want to see? With an upped rating of 18A and inclusion of everyone’s favourite combination of sex, violence and “disturbing language” then at least I would be able to find other adjectives to describe the movie other than “average.”

The other reason for Jack’s box office failure (and audiences checking their watches during the film) might be the subject matter. With Red Riding Hood, Beastly, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, and every Snow White adaptation out there (Snow White and the Huntsman, Mirror Mirror, and television show Once Upon a Time) it’s no wonder that there is barely any room left for Jack and those poor giants. Maybe it’s time that adapted fairytales for adults are on their way out for a little while. With as strong a cast as it has, let’s hope that this week’s Oz the Great and Powerful has a great opening and doesn’t suffer the same fate.

…and while we’re hoping things, I’d also like to hope that Bryan Singer’s next film, X-Men: Days of Future Past, is much better than Jack the average Giant Slayer.

B-

(That seems average enough.)

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ng9rjC8MOgU]

KileyA student of Centennial’s post-graduate Book and Magazine publishing program, Kiley enjoys spending most of her time crying over Tom Hanks romcoms, watching Downton Abbey and hoping that Michael Fassbender and Steve McQueen continue making movies with only each other.

Read more of Kiley’s posts.

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